My understanding of genetics is limited to the understanding that physical traits and characteristics get passed down from one generation to the next. Beyond that, I know only that there are a lot of variants that determine this stuff. (Apologies to my dad, the genetics prof.)
An example: Dad had brown eyes and Mother had blue. My brothers got brown eyes, I got hazel/green for some reason. In 1977 when I was in college, one of my friends - a biology major - looked into my eyes one day and said triumphantly, "He's wrong!" Turned out Dad told them my eyes were brown. Oops. His explanation was complicated -- too complicated for my English major brain.
Of course, there are things I did not inherit but sure wish I had. My mom had the hospitality gene in spades. Dad just went along with whatever she planned. She loved to entertain, cook for others, house them, whatever was necessary. Dinners and parties were planned down to the last detail. I missed that gene. I can entertain when necessary but I stress over every detail. There are lists all over the house of THINGS TO DO. I lean toward menus of make your own pizzas or a big pot of soup. Still, my nerves are on edge until everyone has gone home. What if they don't go home? What if, what if, what if....
My mom was very organized. In the house where we grew up, there was a built-in desk in the kitchen, where she did all of the family budgeting on old-school ledgers and meal planning by the week. Dad built a large recipe box with a drawer that held hundreds of recipe cards. The box stayed there until she sold the house after Dad died. She took it along to her condo, then to an independent living apartment. When she moved into assisted living, she told me to take the box home. In retrospect, I know was difficult for her. It was like giving away her secrets and a piece of her heart.
Periodically I'd look through it for one of my favorite recipes but it wasn't until my daughter began reading through the cards toward the back of the file that we realized what a treasure trove of food memories it held. She hooted while reading one card -- apparently, the night included 30 minutes of watching the news on tv. Hey, this was the late 60s and my family was new to the television world, so apparently we considered that entertainment.
We were surprised at the detail she'd recorded from the many dinners and parties they'd held, entertaining friends and family, guests they hosted through a hospitality travel network, work colleagues and Dad's college students. On the cards are full menus with notes of how much of each item she'd prepared, cooking time required, and the names of each person who had attended. There were even notes on why one family member was missing from certain dinners -- i.e., the New Year's Eve one brother was sequestered because of hepatitis and the holiday when another brother was completing voluntary service in Africa.
Reading the cards feels like prying into her private diary although she'd probably laugh at that. She'd have seen them simply as a way to keep track of what she served and how not to repeat
She was a farm girl at heart, and grew up helping her mom and aunts prepping big dinners for the threshers and whatever other harvest activities were happening. Our family dinners with my mom's parents and siblings were big deals -- usually more than 30 persons, especially when my older cousins began bringing boyfriend/girlfriends. According to a card dated Dec. 23, 1967 (I was 11), there were 31, with one grandchild missing (there were 20 grandchildren.) I find this menu mind-boggling and really? French fried potato balls and Santa ice cream?
15 lb. semi-boneless ham (cost 63 cents/lb)
4 large bags french fried potato balls
6 boxes frozen corn
60 rolls (Parker House in round boxes, already buttered) Cranberry salad wreaths from the Mennonite Community cookbook (Herald Press)
Green jello Christmas trees (pineapples and apples, crushed)
Blackberry and pineapple jam
Pickles and olives
Christmas trees and Santa ice cream
Cookies and candy - brought by Kathryn (her sister) and Grandma (her mom)
Finally, they loved to entertain Dad's students and apparently the students were equally happy to attend because they always raved about the food. In May of 1978 (the year I graduated) they invited the biology majors to dinner. These were my friends so this was slightly embarrassing. Dad grew up in China so my mom learned to cook what we called "real" Chinese food from our grandmother. The menu included green peppers and beef, sweet sour pork, rice and cherry pie. (No, that part wasn't Chinese but it was Dad's favorite.) The best part of this is the decorating theme -- see the last line.
Most of these students had been with Dad in the Florida Keys for a one-month marine biology course so the fish net tablecloth was appropriate. Only my mom.